


Gordon Ramsay Dies at the End

by tsradust



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Memes, Swearing, the cinnamon roll done did it, what do you expect gordon ramsay is in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-04 00:24:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13352607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsradust/pseuds/tsradust
Summary: Papyrus has finally completed his (backup) dream of owning his own restaurant on the surface. But what will the critics think?





	Gordon Ramsay Dies at the End

Papyrus had finally done it. He created his own restaurant in the middle of the biggest city in the world, Chongqing, China! He couldn't have done it without his brother's help of course. Actually he probably could have; in fact, he could have done it faster. It was all him, the Great Papyrus!

One day, as Papyrus is creating a new spaghetti recipe from scratch, he hears all the sound in his amazing restaurant quiet all of a sudden. What could be happening?! As he walks out to wonder why the pleas for help stopped, he takes a quick glance at the cages to make sure everyone is still there, still enjoying their spaghetti. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he glances over to Sans who has stopped his daily intimidation session, to stare at the door, his eyes barely pinpricks. 

"BROTHER, WHAT IS IT?" He asks, quietly.

His brother only continues to stare, finally making him turn his head towards the door as well. Why, it's five star chef, Gordon Ramsay! What a pleasant surprise!

"MISTER RAMSAY, SO NICE OF YOU TO STOP IN TO TASTE MY WORLD FAMOUS SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus says quietly.

The Gordon turns his signature glare on the brothers, which doesn't cause them any distress because they're skeletons with magic and shit. "Bring me... _the_ _spaghetti_." Lightening cracks behind him even though it was clear and sunny a few seconds ago. His words make all the ~~prisoners~~ customers cry out in anguish, telling him to stop while he still can. Gordon ignores them, ready to judge like a guy who's really judgey.

"OH RIGHT AWAY! YOU'VE COME JUST IN TIME, I'VE CREATED A NEW RECIPE AFTER SEEING HOW POPULAR A CERTAIN FOOD WAS BECOMING!" Papyrus breaks reality and walks in the sky towards the back of the restaurant where the kitchen is. He comes out with a covered plate and a pleased expression, making sure to carefully bring it over as to not spill a single noodle. As he takes the lid off, everyone freezes in horror. "IT LOOKS DELICIOUS, DOES IT NOT?" Papyrus says in his inside voice.

Gordon looks up in absolute fear--his life flashes before his eyes as he stares down at the plate. How could he not be afraid, when this could possibly be the most delicious thing he will ever taste? 

"I CALL IT, TIDE POD AIOLI!" Papyrus whispers.

Gordon's mouth salivates at the sight of the blue and orange forbidden confections, cooked in a beautiful garlic sauce, served on top of aged noodles. 

He brings the glorious pod to his mouth, the anticipation almost killing him, before he bites down and moans in ecstasy at the flavor. As the pod explodes in his mouth, concentrated soap immediately burning his esophagus and poisoning him, he weeps at the amazing complex flavors. He falls to the floor in slow motion, glittery tears becoming projectiles as they leave his face. As he takes his final breath, his stomach dissolving and mouth bloody, he whispers one final phrase with a smile on his face. "Finally... Some good fucking food." And with that, Gordon Ramsay was no more.

"WOW! MY FOOD HAS NEVER KILLED A MAN BEFORE! THAT MEANS IT MUST BE GOOD! WOULD ANYONE ELSE LIKE TO TRY?" Everyone around him has to strain to hear his soft voice, but as they realize what he's asking, they all collectively come to a decision. It's the only way to get out of this hell. That night, everyone raises a fork in solidarity, before biting the glorious pod, and dying with a relived smile on their faces. Finally, they're free.

"well papyrus, your dish certainly was killer." Sans screams before swallowing three handfuls of detergent pods and crying because he's a skeleton and can't die no matter how much he tries.

"THANKS."

And everyone lived happily ever after except for Sans who continued to have crippling depression which would go undiagnosed for years before he finally got the help he needed. But then he lived happily ever after.

And that's the story of how Papyrus single handedly fixed the over population problem in China.

Don't eat Tide Pods, kids.

**Author's Note:**

> American Poison Control: 1 (800) 222-1222  
> If it's a serious emergency call your country's emergency number (911, 999, etc.)
> 
> American Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255  
> Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center Hotline: 0800-810-1117  
> United Kingdom Suicide Prevention Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90  
> International Suicide Hotlines: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
> 
> Seriously don't eat Tide Pods, and do get the help you need


End file.
